holidays is here, im suppose to blog more often den usual but i jz don't have the mood. I'v alot to think about, so much to think. I really dunno what's botherin me, i cant really tell what's is goin wrong, what is so not right.
I just feel like my life had been a mess ever since the year 2004. I let everythin outta control. I hate the feeling of me not being able to control what i am thinkin, what i am doin. I can no longer focus and concerntrate on every single thing i do, i am lost. My life, my studies, my love, my frens........i am such a failure in everythin i have, to everyone i know. Everytime i stop and turn back, i can't see any good point of myself.
Days in days out, life seems to be happy infront friends and family, but deep inside i hear a voice where no one else on earth will ever heard of it. Perhaps i am good in pretendin myself, all these years i'v learnt the skills on pretending, i can hardly show angry or sad faces in front of any of my friends. My laughter may not be genuine, my smile may be fake.
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