Have you ever been in love

In the morning light
Half awake and half asleep
Have you ever laid there thinking
Was it all a dream?
But you reach out and she's there
Every moment, everywhere
Have you ever been in love?

Have you ever felt
How far a heart can fall
Have you ever stayed up waiting
For a telephone call
Just to hear her say hello
Cause you miss each other so
Have you ever been in love?

Have there been times to laugh
And times you really want to cry
Finding reasons to believe her
cause you'd die a little if she lied
And when in times of doubt
Have you ever tried to work it out
But still she leaves you wondering
What it's all about

And when she's far away
Have you ever felt the need to stray
And tried and then discovered
It just doesn't pay
Cause with her, you can be true
And with her, you can be you
Have you ever been in love?

Have there been times to laugh
And times you really want to cry
Finding reasons to believe her
Cause you'd die a little if she lied
And when in times of doubt
Have you ever tried to work it out
But still she leaves you wondering
What its all about

And when the night comes down
Can you call your house a home
Do you dream you're still together
And wake up alone
Have you ever been in love
The way that I'm in love
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever been in love?


I love the lyric that describe those things that couples do when they are in love...come to think of it...'stayed up waitin for a telefon call...in times of doubt..try to work things out...dream you're still together, and wake up alone etc.......' its something all of us had experienced before...its always sweet at the beginnin, bitter through out the way and disappointing in the end....
after seeing so many cases around me n within me myself...i feel that frenship is most precious to me..at least it is like this at the moment....
Friend..we all need time to digest the whole situation...lets give each other some times and after dat erase all the bitter memory and start a new....plz dun hold any grudges among ourself...I love u all=)

Love

"Looking back, I've this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so."

Everyday u look around..how many of ur frens had been hurt so badly in love??Its simply something that we cant live without, we oways lookin forward to it yet we are afraid to accept and involve in it...cz we are afraid to hurt or to be hurted. Thats why so many times in life when u meet the right person or someone dat u really like and care about u dare not say out...and in the end u jz loose them without them even knowin about it....

"So tell that someone that u love, just what you're thinkin of, if tomorrow never comes..."
Love is blind, yet u need rationality in it....sometimes u need to trust ur feelin but sometimes u need to think..I dun fully agree with the lyric above bcz sometimes something are meant to be kept to urself...even if tomorrow never comes. Love is not a word to say but an action to take..u dun need to let him noe that u luv him...u jz need to treat him good and prayin all the best for him from the bottom from ur heart...ofcz deep down inside u wish that he will notice u and turn over to look at u but if he doesnt u'll still feel satisfy bcz u noe that he's stil here with u as ur fren....

In most cases dat i dare not say out or admit that i loved is bcz im afraid to loose them even as a fren...i dun wana destroy the frenship we have yet i feel so reluctant to be just a fren... even thou i noe clearly that love is not about occupation...so all i can do is hide the genuine feeling from the whole world so that when he found his other half i stil can smile to him without anyone knowin that im bleedin inside...and oso ofcz to save myself some face..hahah

I'm playin me media player randomly and currently its playin Shayne Ward's "you're not alone" with the line goes like this: ' Don't hide out inside yourself, if only you let the sun shine on you...you're not alone, when your world is fallin down, I will be the one around...'
perhaps I stil hv frens around...I'm not alone i guess^^

To the one dat I've once hurt so badly...I'm glad to know that u are havin a good life ahead...perhaps ur good life came since the day i left...........

a lil about me

here's a lil fact about me...u think u noe me well?? think again after this list....
  • I love soup..from western creamy mushroom soup to chinese herb soup...
  • I drinks coffee..even its late at nite^^ i just love coffee so much
  • I love grape flavour vitagen
  • SUPER DUPER EXTREMELY HATE/ AFRAID cockroaches!!!
  • ABSOLUTELY NOOOOOO durian
  • I watched sailormoon=P
  • I cant sleep well without my bolster
  • I love peppermint choc chip
  • I sleep without covering my feet
  • I am shy to new mates but not to those who are close to=p
  • I hardly wear make up
  • I spend most of my credit on sms
  • I'll still feel lonely in heart even when there are alot people around me
  • I enjoy driving alone with music turn on loud
  • I don't like eating alone
  • I like study at night in my room with only my table lamp's on
  • I have really low self confidence
  • When I'm adapted to something, I dislike changes
  • I cant drive manual car anymore=P
and the list goes on.......will add in if i can think of any other

awesome week!!

it had been a busy and exciting week^^ ever since i've been start workin..my time for frens and family are limited..however i've manage to spare some times for my frens n family=)
met up wif rachel in 1u right after workin hours on tuesday for x'mas present haunting..we shopped for approx 3 hrs and manage to get most of the gift...n im so happy to meet my dear fren cz we almost meet up everyday and now suddenly din get to meet her dat often i feel so weird n uneasy =p
on wednesday nite..it was benjamin's birthday..we gathered at westin hotel pool side for his birthday celebration..in case u din noe who benjamin is....he is my nephew who are just celebrating his 1 year old birthday....yea u din see wrongly its 1 year old..not 21st years old...well...rich man's son la wat u expect??
happy birthday ben^^
and on thursday nite...went kepong metro prima to meet up wif a primary class mate^^we haven meet each other in 8 years!!!8 long years!!both of us had changed alot compare to the last time we meet each other in form 1..hhaaha..well we had a really nice chat..from our old sweet days to our recent life...wai kit wish u all the best in ur future=)
and on friday...i'v took leav to go uni to settle some stuff...then i went pyramid alone to shop for present...i was alone there for few hours...then drop by 1U on my own again...i never noe i can survive alone....haha...i reached home at round 4pm and start to wrap those present i bought the other day...OMG when im done wif those present im almost late for the party....bathed and grab all the stuff and went yen ling's place...it was a really nice bbq party...cz there were 4 chef to cook for us..basically i jz sit there n eat oni..hahah....lotsa jokes n fun we sharing...n ofcz lotsa pic oso....esp the 3 'mascot' hahah..nice one dude...nex year can do again....haaai enjoy those times wif u guys...but the party ended too soon...we'll plan something for new year aren't we??

p/s: the pic will be upload soon

Transmile Air

Okay..in case u haven noe..I've start workin as a part time admin clerk in Transmile Air..a cargo company....well workin life is dull..everyday wake up..drive to subang..switch on pc..start exercising my finger on the keyboard for freakin 8 hours!!!!!!sit in front de pc till back ache~!! but gonna work hard for the sake of my handphone!!!oh handphone..wait for me plz....my pass....u cant enter to office area without tis...infact u cant even enter the whole building without tis

my table...messy messy n messy....papers all over the table!!!n de yellow plastic bag was de roti boy my boss gave me^^

my mp3^^ i would have turn nutso if there isnt my lovely mate named SONY =P


tis is wat i saw everyday when i look up!!!now u noe why i feel life is dull la har??


it's x'mas!!!tis is one of the deco in my office....behind tis comp is a x'mas tree wif alot gift under it..but i feel its quite pai seh to stand up n take pic of it...so forget it la^^


the other side of my table!!!tis is seriously not a comfort job!!!


so many things to do!!!i'm not being hired to shake leg in office~~

十字路口

情绪起伏一直很大,开心和伤心只在一瞬间。
前两个星期还患上严重失眠,几乎每晚都不能睡!
精神几乎崩溃.....
好像看不见未来,看不见明天。
没有人了解那种对未来不确定的无助感,无力感。
日复一日,
我好像越来越不能掌陀自己那艘命运的风帆,
任凭风把它吹到那没有方向的目的地。
我已经离我自己梦想的世界越来越远了,像是永远到不了了。

注:此贴纯粹只想抒发情绪,并没有不开心.....:)

残废- 吴克群

爱里行动不便
追不上你的美
脚步再快跟不上你的嘴
分开我骗了谁
想擦掉你的脸
擦不掉痛却更明显
你说你要的世界
在很远我不了解
分手就分手
别把话说得太美

我像个残废
飞不出你的世界
借不到一点安慰
为什么你拼命后退
退到了边界
结果我没了知觉
就连痛都嫌浪费
在爱里残废
非弄得伤痕累累
累到我无力再追
最怕你突然要挽回
回到了原点
原点却又像终点
然后多痛一遍

我像个残废
飞不出你的世界
借不到一点安慰
为什么你拼命后退
退到了边界
结果我没了知觉
就连痛都嫌浪费
在爱里残废
非弄得伤痕累累
累到我无力再追
最怕你突然要挽回
回到了原点
原点却又像终点
然后多痛一遍

我像个残废
在爱里残废

new layout~!!

I've been workin on this layout for quite some times..but most of the time i'm just so lazy to do it probably just type 2 lines den i'll lost my patient..but but but....finally its done...well basically its done but i still need to change alotta things.....so be patient^^

insomnia

had been rollin on de bed for an hour...cant sleep!!!arghh..i hate insomnia!!!!!!

Since cant realy sleep so jz came online to scribble something..in my life, frens had been an important part in my life, im dead without frens. and sometimes when among frens have any argument, i realy will heartache n feel like dyin...i dun like to see my fren end up hatin each other, which there was alrd a case happened around me and oso happened on me..de feelin of loosin a fren is like some one u love had passed away!!!

Treasure ur fren around u...espcially best fren..not everyone in de world wil find best fren dat understand u wel n without u sayin it he/she wil noe wats in ur mind....true fren is hard to find and when u found treasure them.

sori..this post is jz for the sake of killin time...im jz kinda bored and feelin abit hungry at this hour =p

any more Question?

For those who keep wonderin why i never wear skirt/ dress or whatsoever....plz read this.

personally prefer this line
"I will change when I think I should, when I feel like, when I want to. And, with the right reasons. Of course, I am the one who determines what those "right reasons" are supposed to be."

lost in thought

holidays is here, im suppose to blog more often den usual but i jz don't have the mood. I'v alot to think about, so much to think. I really dunno what's botherin me, i cant really tell what's is goin wrong, what is so not right.
I just feel like my life had been a mess ever since the year 2004. I let everythin outta control. I hate the feeling of me not being able to control what i am thinkin, what i am doin. I can no longer focus and concerntrate on every single thing i do, i am lost. My life, my studies, my love, my frens........i am such a failure in everythin i have, to everyone i know. Everytime i stop and turn back, i can't see any good point of myself.
Days in days out, life seems to be happy infront friends and family, but deep inside i hear a voice where no one else on earth will ever heard of it. Perhaps i am good in pretendin myself, all these years i'v learnt the skills on pretending, i can hardly show angry or sad faces in front of any of my friends. My laughter may not be genuine, my smile may be fake.

@!*&%^&#$*

havin such a complex feelin dat make me so darn heartache..wat can i do??NOTHIN..all i can do is jz sit n watch...watch the show dat i dun wish to watch ever....

for Teck Jung



tis pic is super sad.....i cant explain why but it jz simply de feelin of seperating...the sky is stil so dark..de rest of the world is stil sleepin yet you'v been awake n waitin to go to de airport with the new shirt we gave u...
WONG TECK JUNG...i dun realy noe him last sem...but tis sem oso duno y became more closer...he's smart i wud said...hv good time management...hardworkin..oways doin report or study in library...hehe...like to tel jokes..very cold one=) he's fav line is: 'makan makan...' hhahahaha...accordin to him- hungry man is an angry man...so if u see him black face he muz be hungry..jz buy him food wil be fine!!!he's a very nice guy...anythin u ask..he wil try to get it done for u (is it??!) time flies...u r leavin to aussie soon....wishin for all the best to u....dun come back become FAT JUNG i faint....hahaha

a lil' summary

had been busy for endless outing recently....redbox, skating, movie, lagoon, bukit tinggi.....n u noe after outing wil be busy transferin pictures here n there......so had been busy gettin pic from others n busy organisin it.....ok here's a lil' update on my outing and the pictures...

9th Nov
right after their bth paper which was their last paper...went straight to redbox for karaoke session for 8 hrs straight wif rachel, yenyen, venetia, kim and jia jia, TJ, henry, yi horng, and matthew. thou some of them left early and left me rachel n vene in de end of the day(how pathetic) but we stil hv fun...whole lotta fun singin n dancin n screamin our lungs out after de major exam....after dat we went BBQ plaza to hv our dinner...man im realy so broke weii....


Create Your Own


10th Nov
suppose to go lagoon today....but due to some TECHNICAL problem we changed our plan so replace it with skating today..hehe so me, rachel, yenyen, jiajia and TJ went skating...venetia oso tag along but wat eva we said and no matter how we persuade her, she jz refuse to join in...memang kia si betul...hahah..so we went skatin without her for 4 hrs plus....after dat went McD for some snackz and went for our movie...the prestige, its a quite a nice show...twist n turn n make u tink alot....after de show...................we went BBQ again!!!!!!!man im gonna realy faint if i were to hv BBQ again in near future....

13 Nov
LAGOON!!!!!!haven been there ever since the new surf beach was done....de last time we went was de O-bash time...n dat was like one week after de first sem start....now is one week after de 2nd sem end...yoohoo~~time flies=) ya we r gettin old...how sad....been to lagoon wif the cloverz, vince and horng.....well im gettin along quite well wif all my new frens i tink..hehe havin lotta fun wif slides and competition wif them...lazyin around on de tube on de wave pool...playin games on de surf beach....enjoy throwin ppl and being thrown into de pool.....playin tube-train that lead by horng...hahah..havin whole lotta fun..after dat we went mr.teppanyaki for dinner and went giant to shop for some food for our bukit tinggi trip....we were like some aunties busy comparin price there in de super market swt swt...=.= n we bought TJ a shirt as a gift as he's leavin back to his hometown n transferin to aussie nex year....gonna miss u TJ

14th Nov
5am...alarm clock rang...suppose to wake rachel up...let her slp 5 more min la..............(fon vibratin..rachel callin :P) holy shit.....its 5:17am.....woke up and went wash up and grab all my things...waited outside at 5:50am.........Henry reached my hse round 6:20am....we reached bukit tinggi around 8 sth but colmar haven open so we went to de club house n took some pic...after checked in..we started to mk breakie as everyone haven hv their breakfast...after dat we stayed in de suite and play games..watch tv...some watchin series on laptop(lousy...go there watch O.C) haha..the rest went to de japanese garden where me, rachel, henry and theng stayed back in de suite.....i oso duno y i never follow...felt regreted(sim tia-ing) since nth much to do so we went in the room n hv some nap....it was realy a nice afternoon nap^^
after dat..we went rabbit farm n play wif rabbits...hehe...they all are so cute=) after dat went for 2 games of bowlin....i wana say de bowling alley there damn lau yah! i cannot strike or perform normally.....whereas yen yen got 4 strikes!!!!!!how can dat possibly happened??!!?!after de bowlin we went back n prepare our steamboat dinner~~yummy yummy...we all surround de table n eat steamboat in the cold weather like a big happy family^^ its so warm~~ after eatin...cleanin n bathin...we went down n hv another round of photo takin session...muahaha we took alot crazy n 'creative' piczzie...heheh


Create Your Own


15th Nov
packed n came down from bukit tinggi...stop by McD for our lunch and as we stil hv time..we went 1U to catch a show- flushed away....it was such a hillarious animation..i love de slugs alot...they are good acapella singer wei....bwahahaha...no kiddin^^ after de show..we went back maluri to hv our bak kut teh for dinner as promised...thnx TJ for the treat..miss u lot here...


guys....thnx for the wonderfull trip and jokes^^ so lucky to hv know u all.....luv u lot <3

survery-about me

this is an inherited post from yenyen's blog....find it quite interestin so decided to make one. have fun =)

1. decribe urself?











2. ten years ago?












3. where do u see urself five years from now?














4. who inspires u the most?












5. what has uni done to u and ur friends?













6. what car do u WANA drive?













7.what car does ur parents want u to drive?















yes...de bicycle behind.......



8.what is the worst thing a fren could have done to u?


















9. and what was ur reaction?















10.what is ur defination of beautiful?




















11.what is the most embarassing moment of ur life?

















12.what is the sport dat u definately need improvement at?















13. how do u and ur girlfriends spend ur time durin holidays?















14.what do u feel like eatin now?















15.your favourite hobby?















16.What is the most private and personal thing you have spied upon?




















17.When someone mentioned that you resemble somebody... who do you think comes into your mind?













im her daughter la..who else u expect??


18.How neat is your room?



























19.What do you do when you have nothing to do?













20.What is your all-time favorite food?
















21.The food you hate the most?















22.Who are the three people in your life you can absolutely count on?















23.And finally... what do you feel like doing after completing this survey?













modified some question as i dun hv suitable picz...hehehe.....

Living to Love you-Sarah Connor

All we had was just one summer
two lovers strolin in the park
But like they say the world keeps turning
as the leaves will fallin we should fall apart

Now I'm waiting for the winter
To build my castle out of eyes
And deep inside is massive building
There's a cristal lake of all the tears I've cried

Baby for all my love don't you know that it's true
I'm living to love you
so baby don't think twice
if you feel what I feel
trust your heart and do what I do,
cause I'm living to love you
hmmmm I'm living to love you

When you're gone it's not forever
Cause your remainin in my heart
So tell me why I feel this aching
Every time I think of you when we're apart

Baby for all my love don't you know that it's true
I'm living to love you
so baby dont think twice
if you feel what I feel
trust your heart and do what I do,
I'm living to love you ohhh yes

I admit that from time to time
I'm feelin insecure and think I'm gonna lose my mind
don't let it show no
oh no no no no no hmm
I don't think I never understand
that our love is should never have a happy end
So I'm really gonna try my best to let you know
to let you know

Baby for all my love don't you know that it's true
I'm living to love you
so baby don't think twice
if you feel what I feel
trust your heart and do what I do
When I final take care
I know the angels they will see my smile
And if they wanna know the reason
I will tell them why

Baby for all my live
hoooo yes I`m living to love you

p/s: strongly recommended..go download n listen if u cant find it feel free to message me i'l send it to u :)

post exam

'Attention to all candidates, u muz stop writting now..........' i've been waitin for him to say tis phrase for such a long time, after approx 3 weeks++ of campin n studyin in uni finally it had came to an end!!!!!!!!the previous 3 weeks is freakingly long i would said. all our life is nothing besides study study study study and STUDY!!!!!!! even saturday n sunday oso we were in uni..we nearly forgotted which day is which day....cant realy differenciate weekdays n weekends, cz everyday to us is the same**sigh**
even thou its under exam's stress..we stil manage to hv fun outta it...due to no more lectures so we oso never bother to dress up nicely..attire durin study weeks: (shorts+comfy shirt+sandals)+ jacket and the most important thing that we muz hv is mp3!!!!we need music to destress wei...haha currently recommendation: Sarah Connor- Living to Love You. so the fun i was sayin durin the study weeks was that we normally stayed in uni til after dinner...so besides study revise n revise study..we wil make some silly jokes n make each other laff...drawin and writting msg to cheers each other...so far the latest i stayed til in uni was 10pm...n it was a snday nite!!!now i noe how is the uni lookz like at nite...the oni thing that i haven see is sunway lagoon's nite scene!!!!!!!i wanted to go for a peep last sunday but they were terrifyin me wif the 5th floor stairs!!! ish.....
so now that the exam was over..i had went out for a dinner and movie wif my IT mates, they all finished today as well but different session so i gotta wait for them til round 5 to go pyramid to celebrate our independence day..so in between 1-5 i was like...now wat?!!!where m i suppose to go n wat m i suppose to do??those who stay condo went back grab their slp...those who haven finish exam stil studyin....den me leh??T_T so i went up lab to surf net...was tryin to find music code bt cant find de song im lookin for....so end up nth n went to library to join my gals...they stil hv one more paper on thurs..gambate gals its almost there...found some magazines to read in the library...chit chattin a lil n its 5 alrd....
we went pyramid round 530 near 6, after decided to watch the covenant, we went manhattan fish market to hv our dinner...me n sook yan share one fish n chipz as we both cant realy finish one meal by ourselves..gosh Darren muz be freakingly hungry cz the way he eat make u feel like he had been starving for 10 days..hahah..catch our movie after the dinner, the covenant. its not a bad show jz dat the story was a lil bit old fashion...wat 'i will u my power....' wah...dis is like a kid's story wei...but then the effect is worth watchin la...anyway when u jz finish a major exam i tink even WTC is nice :P (its debatable..)
nice chillin out..even thou its short but i appreciate all the jokes u guys made=D
enjoy the holidays dudes~

习惯

家里的电动铁门坏了,进出都得下车推开或关上,好不麻烦。记得以前家里也一样没有电动门,进出一样得下车开关,但那时从不觉得麻烦或不方便。人原本就不能被宠,一旦习惯了方便,忽然之间失去了那种方便就会浑身不自在。
感情其实也是一种习惯,习惯了有人让你依靠,习惯了有一双手牵着你走,习惯临睡前收到晚安的简讯或电话,习惯有人在你考试时叫你起床,习惯了有人哄,习惯了想念.......如果有一天,这种习惯也和电动门一样坏了,不见了,世界就要末日了吗?难道电动门坏了,你就不要出门了吗?
门坏了,就想办法去适应没有电动门的日子。虽然刚开始会不习惯,但慢慢还是会适应的,而且我们并不是过新的生活,只是重新适应以前没有电动门的日子罢了。他走了,你也只不过是回到认识他以前的生活,如果你认为没有他,日子根本活不下去的话,那你以前是怎么活过来的?
没有了他的肩膀,还有朋友让你靠;没有了那双牵着你走的手,请学会认路。

all about library

in THOL 2nd floor u can see:
1. penny gan wearin shorts n tying up her hair...
2. venetia tan comin with spectacle...
3. rachel chee wearin 3 quarter pants...
4. they take turn nappin....
5. they read garfield when they were bored studyin...
6. rachel and venetia singin in silent mode....
7. they start camwhoring....
8. people whisperin...
9. they start picnic-ing wif candies...
10. most people were in their ear fon...
11. some people stand to study...
12. to be continue............

dear fellow mates...all the best in the comin finals....

bloggin

somtimes bloggin needs courage.........

the difference

mankind are very strange animal, when u r doin something for those u like (i includes frens n family in tis word) u will never feel u've been bothered or troublesome even if the job or task is realy as cumbersome as u gonna waste ur time n energy to complete it...in fact u do it in a very enjoyin mode wheareas if u r doin something for those u not realy close to..or those who u'v very negative impression on...u will feel like: "oh man..y cant u jz find some one else to do it!!??!" even thou its jz as easy as helpin him/her to pick up a coin that dropped beside ur shoe.....

tis is life...n we ain't saint dat can treat each n everyone in this world equally fair...hahah..so dun keep tellin urself the world is fair...soon u will noe that u r wrong!!!!the world is never fair...accept the fact dude~

err..a small confession here...i do treat ppl around me unfairly in a way or two...hmm..shall i put it tis way...some may get most of my attention...some may get less...some may not get at all...of cz those who grab most of my attention will be those whom i oways be with n those who i care most...well after all i oni have one heart...how can i pay my attention to EVERYONE around la??!

confession

finally done with my all my assignment n now i can concern on my revision..but before i start with my revision..i shall do a lil' post on tis....confession...u muz be tinkin i wana do my confession here like venetia did..but that will only happen when rachel stop being camwhore!!!!opps..better not use tis else she realy stop doin it im gone...alrite i will confess when the sun start to rise from the west....heheh...

back to the topic..y wil i touch on tis topic suddenly??well...there's people around me who had been confessing to their own crush recently...ofcz these people includes gals...there's tis fren of mine who had been confessed to her crush n bein rejected...yet she isnt sad over the rejection yet she's happy to get him as a fren....well....i told her..i was in more or less de same situation with her but i will never be as brave as her to confess....ppl oways says:'u will never noe de result if u dun try....' eh harlo...im a gal la...wat u expect me to do huh??go rite up to his face n say 'i like u..do i hv a chance??' like dat ar ????!!?!

u might be tinkin...which century is tis fella came from??!?stil havin such an old fashion thought..but still i tink gals shudnt make de first move la...mayb give hint u noe...hahah..but then there link to another dilemma where guys are oways so dumb!!!!!!!!!they oways get wrong signal!!!!!argghhh......when u realy treat them as fren..jz try to be frenly...they damn perasan n tink tat u like them...n when u realy givin hint to them...they DUN GET IT AT ALL~~~~~ ''-__- really duno wat to comment bout them...**speechless-ing**** oh ya..there's another chin gak attitute about guy...they never appreciate what they get easily...tk u for granted if u r the one who court them first...duh....another no comment face ''-__-

royale escapade


Create Your Own!

here's the promised photo =) enjoy
there are stil some pics of 'behind the screen' i haven upload....will do it when i hv the time

我的心情日记

挣开眼睛,明显看得出让眼泪陪我过了一夜。凌晨的那个chatroom,真的让我心痛到了极点。虽然醒了,但却始终不想起床。躺在床上,墙上的钟和床边的闹钟像在比赛一样,嘀嗒,嘀嗒 地不停的在走者。
终于,伸了个懒腰,甘愿起身梳洗,也不知道是早餐还是午餐时间了,反正也无所谓了。习惯性地坐在电脑荧幕前,伸脚按了一下长住在桌底的CPU,开启了电脑,开启MSN,然后就是无聊的等待......很随意的开了我的SonicStage,随便click了一首歌就让它随着playlist播放,对着那playlist真的有点闷了。
听着音乐,忽然右下角传来了有人sign in的alert window,看见了她的名字,几个小时前的对话又在我脑里浮现。自动弹出的window,传来了她的字句。知道我的不好受,难过,很努力的想让我不去怪自己。我只能告诉她,我很好,只是需要时间去消化整件事。
我真的不知道,我的话到底伤了你多少,很多时候你都选择自己去背那些痛苦和不快乐。我很想让我身边的朋友都快乐,但是到最后却让我发现,其实最让你受伤害的是我!

i noe we all did make mistake...our frenship is growin stronger after tis incident and i shall protect tis precious frenship with all my efford n wont allow any one else to destroy it!!!!

worst nite ever T_T

crap...i never feel as shitty..heartbroken..hurt..sad and down as now b4.....i'm like de worst fren on earth that anyone can have.......wat makes me look more stupid is when u post up de blog of this 'betrayer' thingy i stil go after u and ask!!!!!!!!!! i muz hv look extremely super duper stupid!!!!!!! i duno how to describe the feelin within me now....its realy terribly bad....
as wat i mentioned b4..u r no more like a fren to me bt a family of mine....sometimes even i feel i isnt dat close to my family either....how do u wan me to accept myself betray u without myself knowin it?!?!? i should hv realise it earlier!!!!!!i shudn't hv been so dum!!!!!!!!!
i wish so much i can jz stab myself to die.....or jz dig a hole n tanam myself in it!!!!!!!tel me how u manage to face me that time?!?!?!?! dun u feel like slappin me?!?!dun u feel im such irritatin?!?!

like family???!?!?!!!?!?! i'm jz over estimatin myself too much.....WAY~~~~~~~~too much

any how i stil wana say another time...sorry for EVERYTHIN..........................

quick update

haven been updating for some times...realy busy recently...assignmentz..fren's birthday..monash ball..hehe...here are some quick updates on wat i'm busyin wif:
  • ENV essay-stuck with hurricanes and global warming for 2 weeks..finally finished and submitted..**relieved**
  • Marketing presentation-done with my presentation^^**big relieved*** as u noe i really hate public speaking especially when i duno wat m i talkin bout...
  • best buddy's birthday-as rachel's birthday is comin..so few of us had came up with a slides show and play it in de theather infront of all her coursemate..hehe..thou there's something unorganise i hope we stil manage to surprise her somehow...HAPPY BIRTHDAY dear^^
  • MONASH BALL- ponteng all the lectures on friday to prepare the ball =P stayed over nite at palace of the golden horses in a president suite!!!!!u never noe how excited we are^^ the ball was just ok but we enjoyin our time takin tonnes n tonnes of pictures...anyhow u dun get to see me in dress so often...hahah...went back hotel at nite n happened somethin which disappointed yen yen n rachel...sorry dears..promise no more nex time =P
pictures will be update soon as its stil under construction...haha

destiny

been bothered by something recently n not very happy bout it for quite some times..suddenly came across this phrase from youzi's blog "道路纵使再崎岖,只要能带着微笑,没有跨越不过的障碍。大不了绕路再走。"
mayb u r true..there's nothin we cant get over...worst come to worst we walk further to reach our destiny....

"The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live."- Joan Borysenko

we see true frenship in them









holiday spree~

tis week would be de most relax week for me despite the mid sem test...practically i jz went for classes from mon to wed...wed nite went the curve with the other 3 spinsters-rachel, venetia n yenny for the merdeka countdown...waoh..penny gan went for all this merdeka celebration thingy!!!!!how patriotic!!!well..kononnya la...our main reason there was shoppin..but we went there quite late..most of the shops were closed..we jz managed to stroll around the bazaar n took pictures in the mall!!!tones n tones of crazy and vain pics we took...we then headed to tgif for some snack..met jaclyn victor there...hehe..the fireworks started without waitin for us...luckily we stil manage to catch it...it's so beautiful and awesome....but look at the one beside me...**sigh**(jokin la dear..hehe^^ its so great to watch wif u) after de countdown..we headed home...errm..i min headed back yenny's place..went there to slp over cz its too late to drive back alone...well..when gals get together..there's oways endless topics to cover...we'v been makin jokes wif yen yen's kiddy's photo...her chai pau-nerd pics were makin all of us laugh our head off=D n de mid nite pillow talk...havin a great chat wif u gals..nex week come my hse k?
the nex day..they went redbox for their pre-planned karaokae session n i went home to pack up n ready for my cherating trip....cant wait to go cz i noe there's GOOD FOOD waitin for me there...as expected..de 3D2N there i had been eating like i'v starv for a week!!!gosh..my mouth jz cant stop 'exercisin' when i get there...pulut, otak-otak, keropok lekor, super big n fresh fishes, sotong, fresh vege from my uncle's garden, snackz, etc......sandy beaches, hammock, cute niece, gentle breeze......my god i almost forgotted i wasnt in a holiday actually....
back to KL on sat evening...went to dennis' birthday party wif rachel at nite..godness!!!we haven been wearin de same top for thousand years n it jz happened again tonite!!!as usual ppl wil start askin why are we in de same top...n we'v been answerin the question for bout 10 times...hahah..glad to meet back some of the old mates...happy birthday dennis....see u soon^^

well..u see i'm actually very busy isnt it?!?!MUAHAHAH~~



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theme songs of mine

1. those were the days
it's like 15 years back since i first came accross this oldies...it's one of my fav singin when i was young...learned it in my english class that i used to attend..stil can remember tat the teacher will play the guitar in front of the class and we all singing along...unplugged is nice=)

2. 胆小鬼
first chinese pop song i listened...n Gigi Leung was my first idol!!!OMG..it's like so long ago when i so crazy bout her..collect every single piece of articles and news clip bout her...buy every of her album...learned every of her song...had alot memory with this song..i remember i sang tis song for more than 100++times cz i was to perform this song durin de standard 6's class party in de class wif a few of my frens...so the practisin part make me hate tis song slowly...haha...

3.开始懂了
this is the song that let me noe who is Sun Yan Zi....honestly her first album doesnt realy impress me...when she jz came out i was like:"oh well...another vain gal who enjoy the lime light...why the heck are there so many new singer nowadays?!?!" (that time jay chou and penny tai were also new!!) but this song totally changed my impression towards her...her voice attract me n she's my super idol now!!

4. swear it again
the boyband from Ireland have has beautiful voices..listenin to this song again will make my memory flash back to the time when i was stil in form 2 or 3....those were the days when we all were crazy bout westlife...it's jz like yesterday where i can see myself doin alot stupid things for westlife..went early to bukit jalil to wait for the concert which is start 8pm...when de gate jz opened...run 100m to rush to the most front of the crowd..but stil end up dancing n singing at the back of the crowd..westlife??errr..cant realy see them..=P

5. eternal flame
a song that use to be ours...i tink back alot alot alot whenever i heard this song been played...those sweet memories do came back but now it add on another feelin which is heartache...i'm so afraid of hearin this song again...

6. that's why you go away(I know)
MLTR is oways my fav band...so many other song of theirs i love...but tis is the only one that make me sing along til my sis hates it....hahah...

7. 握你的手
dun realy undst how on earth can this song make me cry....whenever i sing "握你的手,坚持到最后一秒钟...." tears drop down silently...it goes worst when it came to its music video..damn i cried like i'v jz ate 10 cili padi....(can u imagine ar?!)

8. 我不难过
u like singing "现在分手,总好过你不爱我一拖再拖...." to see my reaction...but now it had became a reality...perhaps until now in ur heart u stil presume that i'm not loyal...well..its not important anymore...tis is de best way i can tink of to prevent us end up hatin each other..at least now we stil can call each other fren....

9. 回家
this is my theme song when i was undertakin my NS program at Gua Musang....all of us nonstop singing tis song cz literally we wana hui jia T_T but now think back there's alotta fun there...tonnes n tonnes of memories there....i guess i would said i'm lucky to be participated in this program else i'm gonna miss this precious experience and also those precious frens...thou we dun meet often now...

arrghhh..wana make it 10 but i cant tink of the 10th song!!!
opps..it's time to bed i guess....ciaOz~


welcome to my life

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong and no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
with the radio on turned up so loud so that no one hears you screaming

no you don't know what its like when nothing feels alright
you don't know what its like to be like me
to be hurt
to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when you're down
you feel like you've been pushed around
to be
on the edge of breaking down and no one's there
to save you no you don't know what its like
welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
are you sick of feeling so left out?
are you desperate to find something more before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
with the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside your bleeding

no you don't know what its like when nothing feels alright
you don't know what its like me to be hurt
to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when you're down
you feel like you've been pushed around
to be
on the edge of breaking down and no one's there
to save you no you don't know what its like
welcome to my life

no one ever lied straight to your face
and no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be ok
everybody always gave you what you wanted
never had to work it was always there

you don't know what its like, what its like
to be hurt to feel lost to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when your down you feel like you've been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down and no one's there to save you
no you don't know what its like

to be hurt to be lost to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when you're down you feel like you've been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down and no one's there to save you
no you don't know what its like welcome to my life.

welcome to my life welcome to my life


"In three words i can sum up everything i learned about life: it goes on" -Robert Frost

a room to breath

life cant be any busier than last week....most of the major assignments and exams was falled on the same week....n to prepare the exam i had been burnin the mid nite oil for one whole week b4 last week...coffee had been my best companion everynite...n finally i'v falled sick cz of too much coffee...took MC on tuesday which i'v 2 assignments due n there's a paper on wed...imagine this..u r down wif fever yet u stil hv to force urself up to finish up the left over assignments and revision for the paper on the next morning....it's realy not a very good feeling...pressure is all u can feel and if u aren't tough u wil realy feel like killin urself....for one moment i had that thought but i manage to pull back myself thou....
well...after the last assignment had been dropped into the pigeon hole on friday...i was realy relieved...**big sigh***i went home early and went up to bed straight away...haven been nappin in the afternoon in a longest while.....
on saturday mornin...went out wif one gang of frens for movie-CLICK....if u haven watch it my advice is----GO WATCH IT!!!!!WAT R U WAITING FOR?!?!? it's such a nice show..meaningfull i would said....it's a movie that make u tink alot bout ur life..when is the last time u tel ur parents 'i love u' ? when is the last time u hug ur family??did u miss out anythin wif ur family??whatever u do...family come first!!!!dun neglect ur family....it's so touchy n it make us cry in the cinema...we then went for our lunch at BBQ plaza..yummy^^ *satisfied** as the prom is comin in a month time..we started prom dress huntin as we hv time today...couldnt find any nice dress in one U so v changed our destination to the curve...we havin great time tryin n laughin in the fitting room thou i din try any...hahah...we had our dinner at kim gary..as usual we had all those funny n crappy jokes durin dinner time...it's wonderful day..after some hardwork...u will be rewarded some laughter...

-life is all about workin hard n playin harder^^-

i am happy=)

have had a great dinner at orange tonite!!!!sometimes it's not food dat affect ur appetite bt people u havin meals with...
thou we all look like we were escapee from the asylum...but who care??we enjoyin our jokes..enjoyin ourselves..dat's it!!!!!y bother how ppl look at u?

i realy pity u dat u never gonna hv chance to enjoy all this genuine laughter with frens..cz u r so FAKE!!!

overestimate

sometimes i jz overestimate myself too much....
u tink u r a great fren of 'tis fella'
but end up 'tis fella' never appreciate u at all...
n tink u are a fool...
taking everythin for granted..

guess i wasnt a material for being a gud fren.......

yanzi's clip



farewell~stephy


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new sem observation

ello all..suppose to be studyin now but since i haven been typin any entry since the sem start so decided to do lil' update now...hmm wat to talk bout de new sem?!?it's pretty much de same story as de last sem..stil goin to sampus early n rayau..happy rottin in campus most of the time de only different is dat i'v noe more ppl in uni now so even if rachel's havin class i oso wont hv much problem like last sem...ahaha..at least if she wasnt free for lunch i stil hv some one else to go makan with...muahaha...okie enuf for those crap..now it's enterin de 3rd week of the new sem..lectures,tutorial n lab had begun...n not to be forgotten is de darn borin m'sian studies!!!realy shouldnt complain last sem while takin moral studies..at least de lecturer is talkin faster den this one did!!!OMG..i seriously din listen a single word he said....okie..back to the other lectures..tis sem's lecturer are realy 'fun'...let's see how 'fun' it is....

lecturer No.1
let's begin from my first lecture of the week...ENV1800(environmental management)..it's a lady lecturer who are from australia if i'm not mistaken...Dr. Cathy..yea she persist student to cal her Dr. n de assignment v must use our own words even if v cut n paste from de internet she wil surely find out(accordin to her la..she wil cut n paste de whole sentence she suspect n search in googles) OMG..i realy wonderin is she realy so free...well..shud i try n see?!?!hehe...i'l try if i wana fail tis unit la...

lecturer No.2
Mr. Phang--lecturer of our MAT1830(maths for Comp Sc 2)...he is de funniest lecturer out of so many lecturer tis sem...funny in de sense dat he is quite blur while teachin..his typical china man english + abit short tongue kinda speakin is realy funny...he speak " act time y" instead of "x times y".... n oso he cannot pronounce 'v'...like divide he wil pronounce as 'dibide'...ok ok..probably u r sayin i'm so bad laughin at him..but i din mean to do dat...so far i'm stil observin whether anot he can teach..cz sometimes Jon can gv better example den he did...ahaha..well it's better to go after "Dr. Jon" den "Mr. Phang" if i'm hvin problem with my maths...

lecturer No.3
Dr. Leow..our FIT1003(IT n Organization)'s lecturer...he was my maths lecturer for last sem n i tink thru out de whole of last sem he oni can recognize jonanthan...cz he himself oways mk mistake in class n Jon was de only one who can point out his mistake n correct it back...hahah..i was quite surprise when i noe dat he's goin to teach us tis unit as he's a maths lecturer...well anyhow he's holdin our class up to de 7th week..after dat someone else is goin to take over his place...dun ask me y i oso duno..hehe

lecturer No.4
Dr. Ting..lecturer of MKW1120(marketing theory n practise)..he speak manglish...n i feel he's actin young..keep on 'chill man...chill man' thru out the whole 2 hrs lecture...after de class i oso got abit infection from it!!!!so shit-_-" he's abit sissy oso...but well if u compare him wif the perfection's christopher den he is realy abit la...christopher worst!!!!ahaha

i tink dat's all for now..initially plan to update a lil' but i tink tis is pretty much ady..i better get back to study..my supplementary ppr is comin..wish me luck dude...

someone there for me

Sweet dreams
is what he said as he went underground away from me into the dark
Forced me
from all my innocence into the very ordinary day today

Watch and wait and see what comes
From the Soul of the man who is uncertain
When the sand washes out to the sea
When the dreams fall away
and the promises is forgotten
will there still be someone there for me for me

He sings
and with his hands he holds a microphone and speaks so loud for all to hear
I'd give
whatever is left of all the work i'd do my hands are tired from all the years

See and wait and look I will
With the soul of the man who is uncertain
When the sand washes out to the sea
When the dreams fall away
and the promises is forgotten
Will there still be someone there for me
for me
for me

Watch and wait and see what comes
From the Soul of the man who is uncertain
When the sand washes out to the sea
When the dreams fall away
and the promises is forgotten
will there still be someone there for me
With the soul of the man who is uncertain
When the sand washes out to the sea
When the dreams fall away
and the promises is forgotten
Will there still be someone there for me
for me
promises is for me
promises is for me

that i would be good

That I Would Be Good
Even If I Did Nonthing
That I Would Be Good
Even If I Got The Thumbs Down

That I Would Be Good
If I Got And Stayed Sick
That I Would Be Good
Even If I Gained Ten Pounds
That I Would Be Fine
Even If I Went Bankrupt
That I Would Be Good
If I Lost My Hair And My Youth

That I Would Be Great
If I Was No Longer Queen
That I Would Be Grand
If I Was Not All Knowing
That I Would Be Loved
Even When I Numb Myself
That I Would Be Good
Even When I Am Overwhelmed
That I Would Be Loved
Even When I Was Fuming
That I Would Be Good
Even If I Was Clingy
That I Would Be Good
Even If I Lost Sanity
That I Would Be Good
Whether With Or Without You

instant "love"

love is jz a game?peoples get 2gth jz for de sake of gettin 2gth...knowin each other for less den a week can be couple..after gettin 2gth for less den a month wil break up...how fragile ur attitute towards love is....love is jz a game in ur eyes...

Abner n Benjamin

lil' story of them>>

an England jersey from my cousin brother...well..he's too fat to fit in so i'm de lucky one to pick up his 'unwanted'..or shud i say 'unfitted' jersey??heheone of my fav nike shirt...it makes me look thinner i guess^^ a singlet from body glove...3 for $50(muahahah)..i have one more in red n one more in black...n it's de exact same colour wif my fren!!!!!dat's oways chances for us to wear de same top on de same day!! i'v very limitted shirt...perhaps this is de only one?!?!hmm..i guess i look quite ok in shirt..i tink i shall buy more shirt den t-shirt durin my comin shoppin session^^
new top from smart connection..2 for $50 so me n my fren get de same top but different colour^^
estamos amigos~~my form 6 class t-shirt...de 3 gals is an art work of one of my classmate...-dynamic 2005- when wil we hv a gatherin?=)